Sunday, January 22, 2017

The Demons in Our Minds- 180 days to GO!

4 Ironman triathlons
4 times I have been unsure if I could finish.

(The Day After foot bandaging by Janet Roher)

2010-Ironman Cozumel- 2 miles from the finish & it hurt to move any further. 
2012-Ironman Arizona-2 miles from the finish & I'm running out of time.
2014-Ironman Louisville- 6 miles from the finish & I’m afraid I’m going to pass out from the heat.
2016-Ironman Lake Placid- 22 miles from the finish of the bike & it hurts too much to keep pedaling.
(So why do you keep coming back?)
I like to challenge myself.
(Well, yeah. When you put yourself in jeopardy, you persevere or you perish)
Those are some big words. Did you google them?
(I asked Alexa)
Each time my completion was in doubt, I instinctively went to a place where I started to reconcile the failure I was sure was coming.
“Well, I tried my best.”, but I hadn’t. 
(You copped out)
I got scared & I stopped trying.
My parents raised me in an environment where I knew they were always there to catch me if I fell.
(I don't understand what that has to do with Ironman)
I didn't learn to read & write until I was almost 10, but they wouldn't let me quit.
I tried to drop out of college, because it became overwhelming, but they wouldn't let me quit.
(An athlete who acts as his own therapist, has a fool for a client)
Something like that.
As coaches, we tell our athletes to bank those breakthrough workouts. You need them for those moments of darkness, when it your success appears to be in doubt.
Each race presents its own challenges, and I am reminded each time that crisis hits, that I have been here before.
Your entire life has lead to this moment, so look back, and draw strength from every challenge you have overcome.

Like the song says, 
"We are dancing with the demons in our minds."

In triathlon, you can have the largest support team, but on race day you are the only person who can rescue you.


  1. Yup, no matter how many TRI's, OWS or curving descents I do, "the dark place" returns every race or practice. Give up, it's ok, most of your friends can't do this either", etc etc. For those times, I just tell myself (I actually say it), "keep moving". Usually if I can do that, I can get through those bouts of doubt and despair...oh and the pain!